Time Isn’t Real

The sticky aspect is that even though my routines sometimes get left behind, inspiration still pings at will. Ideas and plot lines that unfold into a fabulous story in my head — these could become a moving or hilarious piece of prose if I would just sit down and write.

So often the last few months, one of these light-flashing moments would flicker brightly through the creative side of my brain and I would think, “Now is the time to write. Grab that tiger by the tail and write the story down. Just do it.”

Perhaps this is a feeling you know well. Resistance. These things that hover just about yea high behind our shoulders and stare at the back of us, unimpressed. The words we know we should say, choices we know we should make, the actions we know we should take — but we don’t.

Failing to write weekly has felt like this: avoidance, procrastination, and resistance.

I’ve justified this neglect of writing my stories because my days have been overrun with work, which I’m grateful for. But every stream of inspiration that slips like river water through my fingers dampens me with disappointment and self-reproach.

How can I be a writer if I don’t write?

Alongside the workload, I’ve indulged in other habits that do not lend to creativity.

One bad habit that has ballooned is Netflixing before bed. Binging is a wonderful way to turn off the mind or waste a perfectly beautiful, blue sky day.

About 4 ½ days ago, I discovered that Netflix finally offered Yellowstone. I quietly closed my Mac, looked away from my unfinished paperback, and devoured all 3 seasons.

After, I learned there are actually 5 seasons of Yellowstone, but seasons 4 and 5 are not available on Netflix. . . . What the heck?? My frustration shot through the roof. This drove me to spend valuable minutes researching how to purchase VIU, subscribe to Peacock, or take some other action toward accessing the final two seasons.

But that decision would lead to . . . you know.

I’d be bolstering my bad habit of staring at a screen instead of writing my words across my screen like I intend to. Hours of fleeting inspiration and treasured creativity would be lost to Kevin Costner…